As much as I wish trusting God was a simple one-time decision that once made was never questioned, I find it’s more of a on-going decision I must make hundreds of times a day. My human nature constantly fights against trusting God. The world challenges me and mocks me for making such an all-encompassing decision. To the world, it’s foolishness, complete absurdity, insanity. How could I really give up total control of my hopes, dreams, rights, and image to another? Why risk being let down, disappointed, wronged, and used? If we’re over the age of three, we already know people break our hearts, fail to see our worth and use us selfishly. But let’s not forget, we do the same thing back to them! How can we truly trust this God that requires we submit to him in every way? What about that expression that we should not “put all our eggs in one basket.” Shouldn’t we diversify, have many back up plans and escape routes, look after ourselves first and foremost?
With all of this in the background, I am not that surprised that
truly trusting God 100% is difficult.
It’s not impossible, but neither is it our natural human bent since sin entered the picture back with Adam and Eve. What is important to God doesn’t always line up with what is important to me. I am so fearful of finding I’ve chosen to be a slave to a cruel master. My survival instincts and all the bents of sin influencing me scream,
“Take care of yourself!
Look out for yourself!
Only you know what you want!
Look at your history, all the times your heart was broken, treated poorly, stepped on, and overlooked.”
Dare I trust everything to one being that is completely unlike myself? Can I be faithful in situations that appear that he has failed me? Can I trust him unconditionally and absolutely when I don’t understand and feel I’ve been wronged?
Yes, I can trust God.
Every day, sometimes many times a day, I must remind myself of this. I hope eventually it will sink in and I can be at ease completely in his hands. He is completely good. He is love. He’s my creator and in him alone I find my worth. He knows my heart and protects me, even from myself. It really doesn’t matter what my circumstances are like or how grim life seems, he will never let me down, accidentally forget about me, change his mind about me or rejoice in my suffering. I have no other model for this relationship with God, I only see it in a human framework, from a broken human existence, assuming human limitations.
Reality is I have met the perfect friend, father and lover. The more I invest in him, the more he proves he is absolutely real and faithful and good. I don’t regret anything I’ve risked putting in his hands.
The more “enslaved” I become to my God, the more free I find I am.
I have complete security in this amazing God. Life isn’t easy, but it is good. He is good. Nothing I have done or could do can keep God from loving me and finding worth in me. My worth is tied up in his perfect character, not in my frailty and failures, nor in any other person’s opinions.
When we decide to ask Jesus to be our Savior and Lord, he trades out our old hearts for a new one. From that point on, he works to subject everything about ourselves to him. It is scary at times, but he proves time and time again, he is trustworthy I never regret submitting more and more to God’s control and keeping. If for a time it’s unclear, I only need to persevere to find God truly is more amazing and faithful than my heart and mind will ever fully understand while on this earth.
God can be trusted. You can trust him. I will trust him.